How “Play Invitations” Will Change the Way You Parent

Children—like life—don’t come with an instruction manual. And honestly, sometimes that’s the hardest part of this whole parenting gig. Everywhere you look online, there are books, articles, and experts telling you how to understand your child.

I’m not here to claim expert status. I’m just a parent, like you, navigating the wild, woolly world of raising humans. What I can offer is what I’ve learned along the way—and my hope is that it brings you some peace as you figure out how to really see and understand your child.

Here’s what I’ve discovered so far on my “parenting journey”: our kids are our greatest teachers.

We often think it’s our job to teach them, but more often than not, it’s the other way around. Children show us how to shed the conditioning we’ve picked up through our own childhoods, schooling, and adult responsibilities. They remind us how to approach life with curiosity, wonder, and—most importantly—joy.

The joy of having a go.
The joy of getting it wrong.
The joy of figuring it out anyway—without beating ourselves up.

But somewhere along the way, especially after years of school and jobs and university, many of us start assigning “success metrics” to everything—including how we play with our kids.

We might look up crafts or play ideas and think, Okay, here are the steps. This is how to do it right.

But here’s the thing: there is no right way to play. Especially not as an adult.

My greatest shift in parenting came when I stopped trying to lead the way when it came to playtime.

Rather than saying, “Let’s do this—draw some pictures together!” and being met with a frustrated “No!” I started to wonder if it was just me. Then I discovered something called “Play Invitations” at Wildlings. The idea is simple: instead of directing or trying to initiate play, you simply lay out a few materials and observe what the children choose to do with them.

That’s what I started doing. I’d lay drawing supplies on a mat in the corner of our lounge room and just... wait patiently until my child discovered it. When they started drawing I’d ask questions like:
“Oh, I like that—what are you drawing?”
“That’s interesting—what made you think of that?”

And then I’d pause.
And listen.

This became my greatest parenting skill: noticing.

Noticing what lit my child up.
Noticing the colours, songs, animals, or other themes that brought them joy.
Noticing when it was time to be still, and let their words and actions take up more space.

Becoming a better observer transformed my relationship with my child and my approach to play.

And I learned how to do it—how to slow down, observe, and let go of outcomes—by watching it in action at Wildlings Forest School.

Sometimes at Wildlings, there might be a “theme” for a session, but it’s not a strict plan. If anything, it’s just for staff to pack the right gear for the day. It’s a gentle structure, designed to support children if they choose to follow it. Some do. Others don’t. And that’s the beauty of it.

And let me tell you: this isn’t just a nice educational philosophy. It’s a game changer.

It helps children become more confident, creative, and capable. And it makes life so much easier for us grown-ups—both in the forest and at home.

Here’s why:

🌿 Invitations to Play Remove the Pressure to “Get It Right”

When there’s no pressure to be “right,” children take risks, express themselves freely, and become deeply engaged in the process—not just the product. And when parents drop the pressure to make everything “perfect,” we can actually relax and enjoy the moment, too.

✨ Less Frustration, Fewer Meltdowns

When there’s no “correct” outcome, there’s no comparison. No failure. No frustration. Just exploration.

Children stay more engaged—and more emotionally regulated—when they’re free to interpret, experiment, and play their way.

👣 More Time for You (Yes, Really!)

Here’s the surprising part: When your child is deeply engaged in self-led play, they don’t need as much from you.

They’re not constantly asking, “Am I doing it right?”
They’re too busy imagining, experimenting, and creating.

That means you get to sip your tea while it’s still hot, whittle your own stick, sketch your own picture—or simply do something that brings you joy.
You’re still present and connected, just not constantly performing or instructing.

And to me, that’s a win for everyone.

At Wildlings Forest School, we believe children thrive when they’re given space, trust, and time. And we believe parents thrive when they’re not expected to be a cruise director at every moment of the day.

Our weekly nature play programs run throughout the Queensland school term, welcoming curious toddlers, adventurous kindy kids, and homeschooled explorers alike. Come along and see play invitations in action —notice what shifts in your child… and maybe even in you.

Written by Kerrie Harth. Kerrie is a mother, lifelong play advocate, and artist with a deep commitment to helping parents and children to be seen, heard, and supported in this wild ride called life.

Kerrie Harth